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This is when I discovered I was getting in my own way

21 years ago my mom suddenly died, I was 33 years old.


A few months after she died, I worked up the courage to go through a couple of boxes I had set aside from when we packed up her apartment. I discovered a draft of a book I did not know she had started to write about her life.

I did not get off my couch for what seemed to be days. Laid out before me was evidence of a life story left behind by a woman, my mom that experienced very little joy over a lifetime. She got on the roller coaster of life that took her nowhere close to where she wanted to be.

At that time, I could see glimpses of how a part of her story could become a part of mine.

I got busy reflecting on my choices and life experiences.


I had always been likable and well-regarded, someone perceived as having smarts and drive, on the outside.


While inside it was a different story.

I felt like I was constantly flying by the seat of my pants, unable to get my arms around it ALL. My relationships, my finances, my job and my health. I was secretly waiting for someone to find out that I had no idea of what I was doing.   

  • I looked outside of myself to other people for my answers 

  • I sold out on myself

  • I told myself disempowering stories

  • I compared myself to others

  • I handed over my personal power

  • What people thought of me was more important than what I thought of myself

  • I allowed people to cross my boundaries

  • I agreed with people just to be liked, fit in, be accepted and not cause any conflict



I abandoned myself. 

I felt alone.

I experienced a sense of struggle that I didn’t understand and couldn’t explain.

All I knew was something needed to change. That something was me.


I had work to do. 

No one was coming to save me, no fairy godmother, no knight in shining armor, just a steady, determined, persistent desire to live into and up to my potential and pull out NOT a better version, or a perfect version...what I really wanted was to be just more version!



The evidence of a life “not working” showed up in many corners of my life.

I was smart and I was motivated. And I was going through the motions. I was not living my life; my life was living me. 

The strategies I had used for years were just giving me more of the same. I realized, if I could have figured it out on my own, I would have by now.

I needed to get out of my head and out of my own way.


I was smart, strong, resilient and driven. 

AND I learned that I was getting in my own way.

My self-limiting thoughts, my self-limiting beliefs and my unique cocktail of life experiences were stopping me from authentically being myself and creating the joy, inner peace, success, fun, and love I wanted to feel in my life.  

I got clarity.

I got clairty about my values, my self-limiting beliefs, my limited view of life; my BLIND SPOTS, which had me out of alignment with who I said I wanted to be.


I made a course correction. 


Getting clarity about how I was getting in my own way and back in alignment with what I valued was the most important choice of my lifetime. 

I returned to myself.


My awakening happened when my frustration got bigger than the future I could see for myself.

I needed to sort through all of the noise.

I intentionally carved out the time to reflect on my choices and lived experiences which revealed stunning insights.

  • I stopped looking outside of myself to other people for my answers

  • I stopped selling out on myself and started being a YES for what was possible for me

  • I stopped handing over my power as I stopped seeking approval, needing validation or worrying about being liked

  • I stopped letting the opinions of others count more than the opinion of myself

  • I stopped comparing myself to others and realized that I am here for the reasons that light me up, make my soul sing and feel the fire in my belly

  • I stopped believing the disempowering stories I told myself that I created out of my insecurities and self-imagined inadequacy's


The You Can Stop The Madness practices, various related talks and coaching program to awaken the wisdom within were inspired by my personal learning journey to grow, evolve and access the joy, inner peace, success, fun and love I want to experience in life.

AND I am confident that if you do the work required,

YOU CAN STOP THE MADNESS's an inside job!

Personal Story
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